COMMON MISTAKES PEOPLE MAKE IN RELATIONSHIPS

 

Love is a beautiful thing; falling in love is great, but what happens when this beautiful field yields a harvest of pain and heartache? To be with the one you love forever is the ultimate goal of everyone, but as good as it may sound, relationships are hard work (literarily). It does not mean that you would have to sweat your skin out to make it work; a lot of mental organization is involved. While following your heart, make sure your brains are also involved in the journey. However, in the bid to make it work, people in relationships do and act things that will propel the relationships to the opposite direction of success. Here are some mistakes people make in relationships.

High Expectations- Most people get into relationships for the sole aim of getting something from their partners. Some ladies are in the habit of expecting skyscrapers and Ferraris from their male partners. Guys on the other hand expect sexual relations as well as other wifely duties from their girlfriends. Another aspect is character/personality wise. A man is not another woman and a woman is not another man. Men have been configured to live and think differently from women, therefore, it would be an error, as a lady to expect your partner to be as detailed, responsive and emotional as you are. It would be definitely wrong as a guy to expect your partner to be as goal-oriented or as whatever as you are. Give it time!

Zero Relationship Goals- Several relationships are hanging on thread-like lines, at the verge of cutting off due to this. It has become rampant for guys to approach ladies with the statement: “Let’s just hang out and see how this relationship goes.” Sorry to say, but many ladies foolishly fall for this. How would you in your right senses, take a cab that has no destination? It is the same with a relationship that has no goal. Before you get hitched, find out if the relationship will be a short-term one for a particular purpose, or a long-term one which would lead to marriage. Many are against this, but I believe one should never be in a relationship with or date someone he/she cannot marry. Simply put, if you can’t get married to that person, don’t date him/her! It only ends in heart breaks. Define the relationship so that at the end, you will not hear things like “we were never in a relationship dear, we were just flirting!”

No Definite Boundaries- Every relationship must have boundaries. The mistake a lot of people make is to start out without defining the boundaries. It is biblical and moral to wait for sex until marriage. However, not everyone subscribes to this. As a lady dedicated to sexual purity, don’t assume that your partner is on the same page with you. Talk things over before the relationship starts, to avoid a situation where you say he has broken your heart. The boundaries of your physical and emotional intimacy with your partner should be duly defined.

Ignorance of/Disregard for Red Lights- in every relationship, there are basic signs that prove how compatible or not you and your partner are. It is fine to persevere and work on certain loopholes. Nevertheless, there are dangerous red lights that should make you run far away from that person. For instance, a lady that has a partner that abuses her psychologically, verbally or physically would be wrong to remain in that relationship and hope that he changes. In fact, it would be her death pill to attempt getting married to the guy in question.

These are only a few mistakes that people make in relationships. Here, some solutions are also provided. As we embark on great relationships, we should also not forget ourselves. Do not lose yourself to your partner, as you don’t need a relationship to make you feel complete. Be the best for yourself and members of the opposite sex will see you with the same lens. Cheers!